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Blonde jokes.... GO

 
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The Gaming Geek
THE GEEK


Joined: 25 Feb 2007
Posts: 114
Location: Forked River

PostPosted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:57 pm    Post subject: Blonde jokes.... GO Reply with quote

A blonde walks into a hair salon with headphones on to get her hair done. The stylist starts working but is having trouble with the headphones, so she asks the blonde to remove them. The blonde replies that her husband told her if she takes them off she will die. The stylist assures her she will not die so the blonde removes the headpones. After a few minutes the blonde fall out of the chair dead. Startled the stylist picks up the headphones and hears... breathe in, breathe out, breathe in...
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Burrfoot812
Nurgling


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 227
Location: Barnegat

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
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Burrfoot812
Nurgling


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 227
Location: Barnegat

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
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porty
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007
Posts: 65
Location: Bayville, NJ

PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 3:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

a blonde is at a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

she calls "how do you get to the other side?"

the other replies "you ARE on the other side!"
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Burrfoot812
Nurgling


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 227
Location: Barnegat

PostPosted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."

A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
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Burrfoot812
Nurgling


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 227
Location: Barnegat

PostPosted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.

As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"

After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.
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LizardMan
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Joined: 01 Jul 2007
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Location: Dead in a ditch.

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

These were funny. :)
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FrostX7
Nurgling


Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Posts: 214
Location: floating with the space cowboys

PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 9:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A blond is pulled over for speeding. The officer walked over... she was also a blond... and asked the blond driver for her license and registration. The blond driver handed the registration and was flipping through her wallet to find her license. the blonde officer said "it is the rectangular one with your picture on it". The blonde driver replies "thank you" and continues to look. A minute later the blonde driver finds the compact mirror in the wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer looks into the mirror and asks "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop?"

-Steven
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Burrfoot812
Nurgling


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 227
Location: Barnegat

PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL Steven that was good.
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FrostX7
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Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Posts: 214
Location: floating with the space cowboys

PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 4:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A blond walk into a drycleaners and drops off a shirt...
The man behind the counter says come again as she walks away...
She turns and replies no it is mustard this time.

(Now that is funny)
-Steven
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Sogen
Nurgling


Joined: 13 Apr 2008
Posts: 102

PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

how is that keeping it clean XD, alos XD on that one.
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Sogen
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Joined: 13 Apr 2008
Posts: 102

PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two blondes are working on a house. One of them, who’s nailing down siding, has been reaching into her pouch, pulling out a nail, and either tossing it over her shoulder or nailing it in. The second blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asks, "Hey—how come you’re throwing half the nails over your shoulder?"

The first blonde explains, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away because it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in."

"You moron!" the second blonde yells. "The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective. They’re for the other side of the house."

brothers joke, made me laugh
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LizardMan
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Joined: 01 Jul 2007
Posts: 718
Location: Dead in a ditch.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

FrostX7 wrote:
A blond walk into a drycleaners and drops off a shirt...
The man behind the counter says come again as she walks away...
She turns and replies no it is mustard this time.

(Now that is funny)
-Steven


Priceless.
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