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The Gaming Geek THE GEEK
Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 114 Location: Forked River
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:57 pm Post subject: Blonde jokes.... GO |
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A blonde walks into a hair salon with headphones on to get her hair done. The stylist starts working but is having trouble with the headphones, so she asks the blonde to remove them. The blonde replies that her husband told her if she takes them off she will die. The stylist assures her she will not die so the blonde removes the headpones. After a few minutes the blonde fall out of the chair dead. Startled the stylist picks up the headphones and hears... breathe in, breathe out, breathe in... _________________ "Then we throw the Dixie cup out". |
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Burrfoot812 Nurgling
Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 227 Location: Barnegat
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Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth." _________________ Armies I own
Over 7200 pts of Dwarves
3000 pts of Orcs and Goblins
2000 Dark elves. |
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Burrfoot812 Nurgling
Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 227 Location: Barnegat
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Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5. _________________ Armies I own
Over 7200 pts of Dwarves
3000 pts of Orcs and Goblins
2000 Dark elves. |
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porty Moderator
Joined: 07 Apr 2007 Posts: 65 Location: Bayville, NJ
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Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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a blonde is at a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
she calls "how do you get to the other side?"
the other replies "you ARE on the other side!" _________________
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Burrfoot812 Nurgling
Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 227 Location: Barnegat
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:41 am Post subject: |
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A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."
A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'." _________________ Armies I own
Over 7200 pts of Dwarves
3000 pts of Orcs and Goblins
2000 Dark elves. |
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Burrfoot812 Nurgling
Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 227 Location: Barnegat
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:43 am Post subject: |
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Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.
As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"
After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home. _________________ Armies I own
Over 7200 pts of Dwarves
3000 pts of Orcs and Goblins
2000 Dark elves. |
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LizardMan Crazy Man
Joined: 01 Jul 2007 Posts: 718 Location: Dead in a ditch.
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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These were funny. :) |
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FrostX7 Nurgling
Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 214 Location: floating with the space cowboys
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 9:57 am Post subject: |
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A blond is pulled over for speeding. The officer walked over... she was also a blond... and asked the blond driver for her license and registration. The blond driver handed the registration and was flipping through her wallet to find her license. the blonde officer said "it is the rectangular one with your picture on it". The blonde driver replies "thank you" and continues to look. A minute later the blonde driver finds the compact mirror in the wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer looks into the mirror and asks "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop?"
-Steven _________________ If this was easy, then every one would do it!
I own...
Dwarfs
Chaos Daemons |
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Burrfoot812 Nurgling
Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 227 Location: Barnegat
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Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:12 pm Post subject: |
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LOL Steven that was good. _________________ Armies I own
Over 7200 pts of Dwarves
3000 pts of Orcs and Goblins
2000 Dark elves. |
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FrostX7 Nurgling
Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 214 Location: floating with the space cowboys
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Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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A blond walk into a drycleaners and drops off a shirt...
The man behind the counter says come again as she walks away...
She turns and replies no it is mustard this time.
(Now that is funny)
-Steven _________________ If this was easy, then every one would do it!
I own...
Dwarfs
Chaos Daemons |
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Sogen Nurgling
Joined: 13 Apr 2008 Posts: 102
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:20 am Post subject: |
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how is that keeping it clean XD, alos XD on that one. _________________
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Sogen Nurgling
Joined: 13 Apr 2008 Posts: 102
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:25 am Post subject: |
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Two blondes are working on a house. One of them, who’s nailing down siding, has been reaching into her pouch, pulling out a nail, and either tossing it over her shoulder or nailing it in. The second blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asks, "Hey—how come you’re throwing half the nails over your shoulder?"
The first blonde explains, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away because it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in."
"You moron!" the second blonde yells. "The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective. They’re for the other side of the house."
brothers joke, made me laugh _________________
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LizardMan Crazy Man
Joined: 01 Jul 2007 Posts: 718 Location: Dead in a ditch.
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:41 am Post subject: |
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FrostX7 wrote: | A blond walk into a drycleaners and drops off a shirt...
The man behind the counter says come again as she walks away...
She turns and replies no it is mustard this time.
(Now that is funny)
-Steven |
Priceless. |
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